We know it’s no cakewalk when you’re searching for your next role. It’s time-consuming, stressful, and riddled with anxiety. There is a veritable cornucopia of articles, blog posts, and thought pieces about all of those aspects. What I’d like to focus on is authenticity with respect to ye olde job search.
When I consider applying to a job posting, I look at the company’s website. I want to see what their customer-facing stance on diversity is. I want to know they value authenticity and encourage their people to bring their whole, authentic selves to work. The reason for this is perfectly illustrated by a recent discussion.
I was sharing the progress of my current search when the other person asked if I was planning to shave my beard or dye my hair a more “natural” color ahead of any potential video interviews. (To be clear, they meant this in the most constructive way possible and were coming from a place of curiosity. Absolutely zero judgment!)
I didn’t even have to think about it: “Oh, HECK NO!”
I’ve spent too long and fought too hard to figure out who I am. Being completely who I am and comfortable in my own skin has improved my life too much for me to ever try to hide again. You’d better believe that confidence extends to my work performance!
When you’re actively trying to hide major parts of who you are or live in fear of people “finding out,” every aspect of your life suffers. That fear and anxiety seep into everything. It’s a constant distraction that’s impossible to completely tune out. As soon as I stopped being afraid, my entire life changed dramatically for the better. The anxiety diminished. My confidence skyrocketed. I no longer had to split my focus between fear and…literally anything else I was doing.
Sure, I could shave my beard and dye my hair back to a dark brown and present the resulting façade during a video (or in-person!) interview. I could pass for “normal” for a little while.
But what happens after that?
Let’s say I manage to ace the first interview and all subsequent interviews. An offer is made, contracts are signed, and I start in my new role. Now I’m faced with a choice–maintain the disguise (with all the time, energy, and anguish that entails), or gradually reveal my authentic self and risk negative backlash.
Hiding or “masking” to that degree is something I can’t and won’t do again. I spent too much of my life doing it, and that’s time I’ll never get back. I felt terrible and I’m sure others could sense my discomfort and inauthenticity and responded negatively. If an employer simply cannot abide a woman with a beard or a purple undercut…are they really someone I want to be working for in the first place?
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not advocating for an “anything goes” approach. I’m not about to suggest flagrantly disregarding dress codes or wearing anything wildly inappropriate for a given company culture. I’ve found my own way to comfortably rock a “corporate goth” business casual style. I can even do business formal when I need to! There’s a creative and stylistic solution to just about everything.
Moreover, I can guarantee everyone who meets me remembers me.
If “no unnatural hair colors” or “no facial hair” are company-wide policies, I’m probably not a good fit in the first place and will focus my efforts elsewhere. But an employer that’s looking for my skills and experience shouldn’t be concerned with whether those skills belong to a bearded lady with purple hair or someone whose outside appearance matches social expectations. My qualifications should stand firmly on their own. When I’m comfortable in my own skin, that’s when I’m at my best and can focus on the job I was hired to do. That’s what my employer–and myself–should be focused on.
Professional headshots by Kinzie of Empowerment Studio photography.